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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has always been the reliable retreat of your Daily, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, especially in relation to football. It was quite amusing to learn that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Consider the situation about the Tykes follower who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And everyone remembers when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, the controversial forward entered a community college for toilet purposes in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told a Manchester newspaper. “Subsequently he wandered around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach following a short conversation inside a lavatory booth together with Football Association official David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss versus Germany during 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he stepped into the wet beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies discovered him collapsed – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history occurred in the ancient loos of a venue scheduled for destruction. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are no longer present, while a German now sits in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Current Reports

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina inspected us completely with a chilly look. Silent and observant” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|